


Breaking the Seal

by LinksLipsSinkShips



Series: Food Porn [1]
Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Blowjobs, Food Sex, M/M, Peanut Butter, college!rhink, handjobs, handjobs WITH BONUS PEANUT BUTTER, is it really an llss comeback without food?, it's what's on the tin, mild kinkshaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinksLipsSinkShips/pseuds/LinksLipsSinkShips
Summary: Nothing is better than breaking the seal on a fresh jar of peanut butter, but when Rhett uses the peanut butter Link labeled as his own personal jar of peanut butter, all hell breaks loose.
Relationships: Link Neal/Jar of Peanut Butter, Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Series: Food Porn [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558264
Comments: 32
Kudos: 103





	Breaking the Seal

Link didn’t even think twice as he slid into the peanut butter. There was something about a fresh jar that felt better, felt smoother around his cock. Yeah, it was probably weird, but Link had gotten over the idea that fucking a jar of peanut butter might be weird a long time ago. In his defense, people knew he fucking  _ loved  _ peanut butter. He just wasn’t sure how they’d handle knowing how much he loved it. He snickered to himself and kept going, thrusting into the jar a few times until he had a nice coating on his cock, then he pulled out of it, leaning back on his bed and taking care of the rest of his need with his hand. He stroked a little faster, eyes rolled back a little. Rhett was at his girlfriend’s, so Link had all the time in the world to get off on his own, and enjoy his peanut butter the way he wanted to.

Every once in a while, he’d pull his hand back and lick the peanut butter off of his fingertips, taste his precome mixed in, and he’d look back down at his peanut butter coated cock. He smirked to himself. Yeah, this felt so much better than lotion. He was a friggin’ genius, honestly. A few times, he’d considered telling Rhett about it, see if he’d ever tried it, because that was the kind of thing that they talked about once in a while, but he hadn’t gotten his nerve up. What kind of lotion was best was one thing. Asking if his friend ever jacked off with peanut butter? Quite another. Still, Link wasn’t trying to think about Rhett as he jacked off. He was trying to focus on coming, hard. As he worked himself closer to the finish, peanut butter sealed over the tip of his cock, he could feel his breath quicken and his balls tighten. Release was moments away, and he bit his lip, eyes closed now, guiding himself over the edge as he came over the sides of his peanut butter-soaked cock, his fingertips slathered with the same creamy substance. He licked his fingers and cleaned himself up with the wet washrag by his bed. Link Neal was nothing if not prepared. As he got himself all cleaned off and tucked in neatly, he didn’t feel the shame that had sunk in the first couple of times he did this. Why would he? This was his Link Time, and nobody had to know what happened during Link Time.

Screwing the lid back on the jar, he searched around for a Sharpie. New jar, new label. He found one on the desk, scribbling LINK BUTTER across the jar lid and label, laughing to himself about just how accurate that statement was. He started to tuck it into his drawer, keep it close by, but no. The mice problem had just gotten better. He wasn’t about to start it again. As he carried his laundry, peanut butter cloth and all, out of the room, he made a pit stop in the kitchen and put his peanut butter in his cabinet. They’d divided up the cabinets long ago, a few communal ones, and then one for each of them to tuck their own snacks. Not that some didn’t go missing sometimes.

* * *

Rhett groaned audibly as he opened his cabinet. He’d remembered the essentials — bread, his favorite jelly — but had forgotten one key ingredient at the store. Thankfully, Link never went a day without peanut butter. Rhett opened the cabinet and saw the label. LINK BUTTER. Why’d he have to make everything so freakin’ weird? Rhett snorted, opening the lid and smearing some of the peanut butter onto his sandwiches, all three of them, putting the jar back in place in the cabinet and settling down on the couch to watch some basketball as he enjoyed his snack.

* * *

Link pounded down the steps from the bedroom loudly, making a beeline for the kitchen. “Hey, I didn’t know you were back!” he called to Rhett.

“Right here. You coming to watch the game with me?”

Link shook his head. “Nah, just getting a snack and then going back to our room to study.” He didn’t know why he was lying. He could probably tell Rhett  _ hey, I want to jack off so maybe don’t come to our room,  _ but then how would he explain the peanut butter? He opened the cabinet. His peanut butter was on the second shelf. Link felt his blood run cold. He knew he’d left it on the bottom shelf.

“Hey, uh. Have you seen anyone using my peanut butter?”

“No,” Rhett answered.

“Weird. I could’ve sworn I left it on the bottom shelf.”

“You got that OCD stuff, man. Who even remembers where they left the peanut butter? Damn.” Rhett turned around on the couch, taking another bite of his sandwich.

“Hey, Rhett. What kind of sandwich is that?” Link’s heart quickened. Oh no. Oh  _ no _ .

“Peanut butter and jelly,” Rhett confessed. “Fine, I used like… two damn spoonfuls of your peanut butter. Come on, man, don’t make an issue of it.”

“You  _ used  _ my  _ peanut butter? _ ” Link’s voice was damn near shrill now, his eyes wide as he plunked the jar back on the counter. Hard.

“It’s not like a stole a chicken breast, Link! Or something big and expensive. I took a smear of peanut butter. What the hell is your problem?!”

Link stalked closer to the couch and looked right in Rhett’s eyes. Maybe he’d kept it from Rhett before, but not now. Now, Rhett had crossed a line and needed to know  _ why  _ he shouldn’t steal other people’s shit. “I stuck my  _ dick  _ in that peanut butter,” he hissed.

“You did what?”

“I fucked the peanut butter! I used it as lube! I got my jollies off with the creamy goodness inside! How many more ways do you want me to say this?!” Link shrieked, thankful no one else was home to hear.

Rhett slammed his sandwich onto the paper plate and slapped it on the coffee table. “Why the hell would you do that?” Rhett asked. “Why not just put the jar in your drawer so no one had to risk your dick contaminating the peanut butter?” Rhett stood up, clearly angry.

“Why would  _ you  _ use a jar that had my name on it from my cabinet?” Link screamed back, stepping forward into Rhett’s space. “I’m not going to keep it in our room. We just got rid of the mice!”

“So? Keep your dick butter to yourself!” Rhett screamed. “You’re such a freak sometimes.”

Link blushed furiously, ashamed and upset, and he stormed to his room, slamming the door. They had a no-lock policy since the room was a shared one, but he broke the rule. After all, Rhett had broken the rule not to steal food. Locking the door seemed completely justified. As he pulled the covers up over his head, he felt his cheeks burn. Not that he should feel ashamed, he thought. Rhett should. Rhett should be ashamed of himself for stealing the peanut butter in the first place. The more he laid there, the more he stewed on it, and the more he stewed on it, the more justified he felt in the idea that Rhett was the real asshole here. Not him. Rhett. Link was sure of that. He laid there for nearly an hour, going over it in his head, getting more and more certain. Rhett deserved every ounce of backlash he would get from this. Link stood up, ready to go tell Rhett what he thought of him, to unlock the door and give the lanky fucker a piece of his mind, and he did, standing up and yanking the door open.

Rhett stood on the other side, jar of peanut butter in hand. “Here,” he said, handing Link a jar of peanut butter.

“What’s this?”

“I ran to the store and grabbed it. It’s a new one.” Rhett rolled his eyes a little bit, but Link could see the apology on his face.

“Thanks.” It was as much of an  _ I’m sorry  _ as he’d get from Rhett, probably better than he deserved, honestly. “Is that all?” Standing here in the doorway was awkward as hell, especially since the room was Rhett’s too, but he didn’t quite want to let Rhett in or face him.

“I just have a question.”

Great. Here was the part where Rhett would kinkshame him again, start saying weird shit about how strange and awful he was. Link should have known a new jar of peanut butter would come with a price tag. He sighed. “What?”

“Does it actually feel good?” Rhett quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh. Yeah. Especially a new jar, because you can really… dip in there and break the seal on the fresh jar, you know? But it all feels good. Way creamier than lotion, and it doesn’t soak in, so it helps lube you up nice for a real long time if you need. The whole time you’re going at it—” Link gestured with his hand “—it keeps you nice and slicked up. And it tastes good, so I like using it.”

Rhett seemed to be mulling it over in his head as he chewed on his lip. Without a word, he tore down the stairs, and Link could hear the heavy thuds of his feet as he ran down. Oh. Cool. He’d freaked out his best friend. Link started to close the door to their room when he heard Rhett’s feet making their way up the stairs again, turning the corner to their room and heading in, jar of LINK BUTTER in his hand. “Show me.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Show me. Show me how it feels.”

“Like, demonstrate it? Drawers down and all that?” Link cocked his head to one side. Rhett sank onto his bed opposite Link’s.

“Yeah. You take the new jar. Break the seal and all that. I’ll use this one.”

“You’re—you… you want me to—you want me to jack off with a new jar of peanut butter while you watch and j-jack off with the jar I’ve been using?” Link tried to clarify. If he was wrong about what Rhett was saying, he would feel completely embarrassed. He already felt ridiculous saying it.

“Yeah. I mean, if you say it’s that good, I want to try it,” Rhett said.

“So try it on your own time?” Link squeaked.

“Just show me! Come on, Neal! Don’t pussy out now. You’ve already told me, so just  _ do it,”  _ Rhett insisted.

Link looked at the jar of peanut butter in his hand. Despite his nerves, he could feel himself getting hard in his shorts already. He glanced down at his lap and then back up at Rhett, who had already opened the jar labeled LINK BUTTER and slid his shorts down, dick exposed. Holy shit.

They’d almost, kind of, sort of done this before, but not like this. Really, they’d had subtle nighttime jack-off sessions where neither of them said that was what they were doing, but the telltale sounds of Rhett’s unsteady breath and the slight squeak in Link’s bed made it clear they were both doing the same thing at the same time. In those instances, their backs had been turned to each other, facing their respective walls and pretending that wasn’t what they were doing. Now, they were facing it, facing each other, facing the moment. Link licked his lips, unscrewing the lid and putting it aside, peeling the seal off of the jar. Yeah, this was new. Fresh. His favorite. Link rarely wasted a jar of peanut butter to get a new one, but having a new one always seemed to hit differently. There was something about sinking your cock into it that first time, breaking that seal, just like he’d told Rhett.

So, he looked at Rhett, standing up and tugging his shorts off and letting them fall to the ground. If they were doing this, he was going to be comfortable. He looked at Rhett and said, “first you gotta be real hard.” He gave himself a few strokes, tip of his cock already leaking as he stared Rhett down. Now, he felt the need to assert some kind of dominance, lest he feel completely stupid in the moment.

Rhett nodded, staring back and stroking his own dick.

“Once you’re hard, you just… slide it in, you know?” Link tore his eyes away from Rhett’s and looked at the jar. He liked to watch this part. He pressed his dick against the swirl of the fresh peanut butter, guiding it into the jar and moaning as he went deeper, not stopping until he felt himself hit the bottom of the jar.

He stroked the jar in and out a few times, peanut butter making a filthy squelching sound as it shifted around his cock in the jar. Then, he pulled out, cock slick with the substance. “Then you just… go.” He started to jack off, watching as Rhett swirled his cock around the already-used jar. He should have swapped, but it was too late now, and Rhett didn’t seem to mind sticking his dick where Link had been before. They’d shared first girlfriends and first kisses, so why was a jar of peanut butter any different anyhow? It wasn’t. Rhett pulled the jar off, stroking, and Link found himself no longer able to look Rhett in the eye, because he was focused on his peanut butter-coated cock. He licked his lips unconsciously, not meaning to in the slightest, but he watched Rhett stroke and a part of him wondered how it tasted. Like peanut butter, obviously, but he found himself wondering how Rhett’s unique...Rhettness… would taste with the peanut butter on it. How Rhett tasted at all, really. He’d never let himself consider it, but now, he was thinking it.

When he finally met Rhett’s eyes, he realized Rhett was looking at him. Not at his face. Not in his eyes. But right there at his dick. Somehow, the fact that Rhett was looking made Link even harder. He wasn’t holding back, wrist working, and eventually he let himself lick his fingers too. He worked one finger into his mouth, sucking it, and he watched as Rhett’s eyes trailed up to see him do that, too.

Link met his eyes. “Well?” he finally asked, voice hoarse.

“Feels good,” Rhett managed.

“Yeah? You taste it yet?” Link knew he hadn’t. Rhett shook his head. Then, to Link’s surprise, Rhett slipped off the bed and to his knees on the floor, crawling across the ground until he was in front of Link.

“Can I?”

Link didn’t want to presume what Rhett meant, so his voice faltered as he asked “Can you what?”

“Can I taste it? Um. Off of you?”

Link tried to say “yeah” but his voice failed, so he nodded instead. Rhett didn’t hesitate, wrapping his lips around Link. Link moaned, moving to rest his clean hand on the back of Rhett’s head because that seemed like the kind of thing he needed to do. “Oh gosh,” he mumbled.

“Yeah?” Rhett asked, pulling back.

“Yeah.”

Rhett took him in his mouth again, gagging a little as he did. “Sorry. Got a small mouth.”

There was nothing to be sorry for. What Rhett was doing felt impossibly good, felt like heaven really. Link leaned back on the bed and watched the peanut butter stick to the corners of Rhett’s mouth as he took him deeper, gagging again. “Here, pull off. I want to try now.” Link didn’t want to stop feeling what Rhett was doing, but he wanted to taste, too. Rhett backed off and Link found himself going to the ground, wiping his hand on a towel nearby, and kneeling on the carpet, nudging his way between Rhett’s legs. He got peanut butter on Rhett’s lower leg as he tried to maneuver into place, but that was a worry for later, not for now, not for when he was trying to get his mouth on Rhett’s cock. He dipped his head low and wrapped his lips around him, taking him almost all the way in one go.

“You have a big mouth, holy crap, Link,” Rhett choked.

“Yeah,” Link said as he pulled back. “Bigger than yours.”  _ In every respect except the height,  _ Link thought, but he didn’t add that part. No reason to insult Rhett when they were doing whatever the hell this was. He took him in his mouth again, sucking and licking at the peanut butter. He could taste Rhett underneath it, through it, and yeah, Rhett tasted different than he did.

Rhett’s taste and the sound of his moans only served to get Link harder, to make him drip more. He kept sucking at Rhett’s cock, tongue running up the length to gather the peanut butter that had started to drip down, melting with the heat of Rhett’s body, and then taking him deep again, feeling Rhett hit the back of his throat. Link smiled around him. Were they doing this? Was this a peanut butter-induced wet dream? Didn’t matter. Link was enjoying every second of what they were doing regardless.

“Oh no, Link, I’m already close…” They were both novices and Link knew it. If Rhett had done much more than getting his hands up a girl’s shirt, Link would’ve known. Lasting power? Not in their vocabulary. Link let his hand help, massaging at Rhett’s balls because he knew doing that to himself felt good. Yeah, he was coaxing Rhett to an orgasm. His best friend, who had stolen his peanut butter. “Oh! Link, I’m…!” Link knew. And with the peanut butter there, Link was ready. As Rhett flooded his mouth, Link hadn’t anticipated gagging, but he wasn’t used to Rhett’s cum and it tasted so different from his own.

Still, he swallowed some, the rest pooling down the sides of Rhett’s cock and out of the corner of Link’s mouth as he gagged again, spitting some in the wastebasket next to his bed. “Sorry,” Link mumbled.

“No big deal. Roll over,” Rhett said, grabbing his hips and flipping their positions. Link could feel the peanut butter smeared across his cheeks as Rhett sucked the tip of his cock.

He couldn’t take Link deep and Link understood, but what he was doing was working and he let his hand make up for the distance his mouth couldn’t reach, which also worked for Link. “Oh, shit,” Link gasped. “Shit, Rhett, I’m close.” He was hoping to get more time, but he couldn’t control the urges he felt to cum, the way his body damn near convulsed from what Rhett was doing. Rhett didn’t stop sucking, licking, and as Link finished on his tongue, Rhett swallowed, sitting up and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You’re a mess,” Rhett noted to Link.

“So are you,” Link said. He sat up, grabbing for a towel. This time, he hadn’t gotten to prepare with a wet cloth. He hadn’t even planned on doing this. He wiped at them both with the dry cloth and then tugged his shorts back on. “I call first shower.”

“We could just do it together, asshole,” Rhett snarked, swatting at him with peanut butter covered hands. They were home alone, Link thought. They really  _ could  _ shower together.

“Yeah, okay.” The bathtub shower was big enough for both of them, so he stood up. They’d already seen each other mostly naked. What was a shower, in all fairness? As he opened his door, though, he heard someone in the kitchen. Shit.

Gregg rounded the corner and headed up the stairs, catching sight of Link. “Hey,” he said, gesturing at the peanut butter on Link’s face. “Peanut butter goes  _ in  _ your mouth, man. Not around it.” He laughed, bounding to his room and shutting the door behind him. Link glanced back to Rhett.

“He has  _ no _ idea,” Rhett laughed. Rhett was right. His mouth was the least exciting place he could think to put peanut butter.

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta'd we die like men


End file.
